Tag: Psychology

Why Your Impatience Is Sabotaging Your Success

It took three days of sitting motionless on a freezing rock to capture this stunning eagle. What made this possible wasn’t just endurance but my willingness to accept reality exactly as it unfolded. I had to abandon preconceived notions about when and how the eagle would appear. Had my ego filtered out signals — the weather patterns, the eagle’s distant calls, the movement of other wildlife — I would have missed the shot entirely. Patience required me to process all information, not just what supported my desired timeline.

These are often tell-tale signs of impatience hidden in plain sight.

  • Anger
  • Control
  • Frustration
  • Idealism
  • Irritation

According to Buddhism, patience is wholeheartedly accepting a situation for what it is. Anger, its opposite, is when we reject reality and demand it be something else.

Conventional wisdom says that at its core, impatience stems from a lack of control — and often hides a subtle form of anger, cloaked in a polite mask — but I think there’s a lot more to it.

Ponder this: Have you met someone who always seems to be impatient and angry that things are not going his or her way? Consider that you invest your time, energy, money, words, and other things into an outcome — that’s to say, you would like a certain outcome. You want your efforts to pay off and expect something because you believe you “put in adequate effort”.

When that outcome doesn’t happen, you may feel that you were slighted or treated unfairly. It’s like installing a security system to keep out burglars — only for a bear to walk right in. Or paying a 5-year-old to guard the perimeter and being shocked when chaos ensues. Sometime,s our expectations are not aligned with likely outcomes, yet our naivety may lead us astray.

How Do You Fix This?

First, just sit there and observe.

While I’m a big fan of living in the present, there’s value in briefly revisiting the past to examine our patterns.

Ask yourself:

  • How often do I invest time and effort
  • expect a certain outcome …
  • And end up completely let down?

If that cycle sounds familiar, here’s the follow-up:

Am I consistently overestimating the likelihood of the outcome I want?

Am I filtering feedback because it conflicts with what I hope to be true?

Do I feel blindsided, even though there were signs all along?

Here’s the truth: the ego often believes outcomes are guaranteed by effort or belief alonebut beliefs are not a down payment on destiny.

When reality doesn’t deliver, frustration and impatience set in — not because the result was unjust, but because our internal blueprint for how things should have gone was not honored.

Is this optimism, entitlement, or just the ego trying to assert its voice over things that it cannot control or command?

Some people call this a black cloud — others argue there are variables missed, situations not thought through adequately, or just too much left to chance.

Effort is in our hands; results often are not — It’s in this gap, between doing and receiving, where patience is either born or broken.

Addressing the Pattern of Self-Deception

We all deceive ourselves from time to time thinking that “oh, it will be okay”. No, certain times it won’t be. In fact, our ego often believes we deserve a pristine outcome “just because” and it ignores data, critical data, which points to an outcome that is not aligned with reality.

If you look closely, you’ll find that when people have strong beliefs about something, their brain purposely filters out information to the contrary so that the ego can continue identifying with that belief — the ego sees contrary information as a threat!

Photo by Deniz Altindas on Unsplash

The Reticular Activating System (RAS): Your Brain’s Gatekeeper

That’s a pretty fancy word, but this is where the cold, hard truth reveals itself! The reticular activating system (RAS) is a part of the brain that is the gatekeeper and filters what it believes is “important”.

The problem?

The ego may hijack the RAS and prioritize information not based on what is objectively true but on what aligns with your existing beliefs, biases, and ego-driven sense of identity.

Put simply, your ego hijacks the RAS and filters out information which would provide truth, and instead only allows in information that will prevent the ego from being wrong.

Let’s break it down:

  1. The ego hijacks the part of your brain that filters reality.
  2. The ego does not want to be wounded and needs to cling to an image.
  3. It filters out truth to preserve identity.
  4. It deceives to avoid being wrong.
  5. It piles on distortion when the truth hurts.

It can be interrupted! It cannot be unasked!

The Ego doesn’t want clarity — it wants confirmation

And until we consciously step in, question our stories, welcome discomfort, and tolerate the vulnerability of not knowing — we stay trapped in illusions we call “truth.”

Circling Back to Patience

How does this relate to patience?

  1. You will receive feedback from the environment
  2. The feedback will help you determine whether the effort you put in aligns with a likely outcome
  3. If your ego has hijacked your RAS, then you may not be properly weighing the information you are receiving from your environment, and confirmation-bias may be kicking in.

Patience is tied to expectations.

When we set them wisely — without ego-filtered bias — we prepare ourselves for outcomes grounded in reality

What If The Ego Does More to Create Impatience?

The ego is also responsible for anxiety and much of fear in life. If you read one of my previous articles, I Tried to Outrun Peace, then Life Grounded Me , I wrote about how we are constantly trying to escape discomfort by rushing through an experience to move onto the next.

When we rush through something, whether it’s a conversation, a book, or even a life decision, we deprive our brain of the time it needs to fully process, integrate, and contextualize the bigger picture. As a result, the brain latches onto bits and pieces that it identifies, discarding critical information that paints a more realistic picture.

Final Thoughts

  1. The ego is very handy at filtering out information that helps paint the real picture of what’s happening in your environment and what you should expect. If a piece of information does not align with your world view or your conception of yourself, your ego will dismiss information to the contrary and build a facade or house of cards.
  2. Once you build this shaky foundation, you’ll find that most of your expectations will not be met, and you’ll be upset that things didn’t go the way your ego wanted them to go.
  3. You may attempt to play the victim card and seek sympathy from others or even yourself to raise dopamine levels in the brain to make up for the fact that things didn’t go the way you expected — or wanted — them to go.
  4. Your conscious will resist reality by way of “impatience” — not accepting your lack of control or outcome that didn’t align with your desires.
  5. This pattern will repeat over and over until you lean into the discomfort of reality not aligning with your ego and / or world view.

The power of choice is also the power of discernment. Use it wisely. Know the ego’s playbook so you can break the cycle and reclaim your peace.

https://medium.com/illumination/why-your-impatience-is-sabotaging-your-success-4efeeabb6a94

Don’t EVER Do This In An Argument

What the Most Influential People Know About Heated Conversations

The most influential people are not the loudest — but the ones who speak only when necessary.

When we cannot be silent, we are dominated by our ego and enslaved by the need to be heard — this is far from power.

So what’s the one thing you should never do in an argument?

Keep Talking

Most people talk too much in conflict and think that raising their voice shows power when all they’re really doing is exposing their weakness.

Every extra word you say is a clue about what you’re thinking and feeling.

In an argument, silence isn’t a weakness — it’s a powerful weapon.

If you say nothing, not a single word, the other person’s mind enters a chaotic state. They may think to themselves:

  • Why isn’t he responding?
  • Did I affect him?
  • Or does he just not care at all?

When you remain silent, you hold something very powerful and valuable. You hold the cards. You observe, and when you give nothing, the other person becomes desperate. They begin to project because humans cannot stand uncertainty.

In an argument, people often say things to elicit a reaction from you.

  • Every reaction reveals your weakness.
  • Every explanation shows the blow has affected you.
  • Every defense says, “You got to me”.

But when you:

  • Learn to stay silent
  • Wait without needing to strike
  • Learn to measure each word that leaves your mouth

The world listens … because scarcity makes things valuable.

Power isn’t proven by how much you say — it’s preserved by what you don’t.

With Love, Clarity, and Compassion

— Paul

https://medium.com/illumination/dont-ever-do-this-in-an-argument-4203dd53496e

Your World Falling Apart? Good. You’re Finally Becoming Who You Are.

“Why the hell am I going through this right now”

“Life Sucks”

Imagine this life as boot camp — A place to learn valuable lessons. Forget about textbooks and theory, you’re going to get the raw unadulterated as-real-as-it-gets version of spiritual growth until your final breath.

Life as a spiritual boot camp — Image by the author using Midjourney

Your journey in this life is not about fame or roses thrown at your feet — Whether you see life as a spiritual journey, a personal challenge, or something else entirely, it’s a place to grow through what you face. This is a training ground where you will have boots on the ground, arms in the air, and tears and sweat dripping down. You’ll lose loved ones, possibly your possessions and even your health,

but you will always have a choice: will you lose your faith?

How many times have you tried to escape where you’re at or what you’re feeling? That gnawing, painful, raw feeling that seems to echo through your bones.

Did you ever consider, “What lesson am I trying to learn”?

In keeping with the mindset:

You are EXACTLY where you need to be right now

Stop Resisting and Start Receiving

In the trenches, no one wants to hear spiritual fluff, but that’s the exact time you have to ground yourself and understand that every interaction on this earth, every person you meet, every cloud that passes over you is no accident. There is an ingenious orchestration that is so far beyond what your mind can comprehend.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Dr. Wayne Dyer

Rather than wallow in your own sadness that the promotion didn’t come through, or that a relationship ended, remember that you are EXACTLY where you need to be right now. The time you spend resisting is the time you could be spending curating, cultivating, understanding, accepting, growing, and feeling.

Put the left brain and ego aside — its purpose is to navigate the physical world — but it likes to think otherwise.

Think of it this way: if we keep repeating the same mistakes, life will keep repeating the same lessons — and that’s no accident. Once we truly learn the lesson, a new one takes its place. This cycle continues for as long as we’re in the physical body.

Left brain navigates. Right brain remembers who you are — Image by the author via Midjourney

The Left Brain Can’t Lead You to God

Dr Jill Bolte Taylor stated that, over time, the left brain subjugated the right brain to more of a subconscious role. More-so, Dr Taylor, a famous neuroanatomist who experienced a stroke in her left brain reveals that:

The left hemisphere is responsible for linear thinking, language, analysis, categorization, and most notably, the ego and sense of identity. It’s where your inner critic lives, and it’s obsessed with past/future, comparison, and control.

The right hemisphere is more about present-moment awareness, connection, intuition, spiritual experience, creativity, and empathy. It’s the part that perceives wholeness and unity.

In her later work, Dr. Taylor discusses how — over time — the left hemisphere became dominant in modern human society, to the point of suppressing or marginalizing the more holistic, present-moment, emotionally resonant nature of the right brain. This wasn’t a biological feat, but more a cultural and evolutionary drift toward prioritizing certain cognitive functions that aided in survival, productivity, and civilization-building.

Turn Pain into a Lesson and Portal

A recent moment with a close friend hurt deeply. But when I stepped back, I realized: it needed to happen. Beneath the discomfort was a deeper unfolding — for both of us. Pain often wears the disguise of heartbreak and anxiety — it’s not the enemy, it’s the doorway to something new. Suffering isn’t a stigma — It’s a signal.

Through the pain, the path opens — Photo by the author via Midjourney

As I shared in a previous article How Suffering Can Actually Be Your Doorway To Wisdom and Peace, we often mistake suffering as a punishment rather than a lesson and means for growth.

Life is how we frame the experience, not how others or we judge it.

It’s all about Intent

Finally, your soul grows from intent and not from outcome.

The thoughts and decisions you make create a frequency your soul resonates with — one that lingers long after the moment has passed, leaving behind an energetic footprint, or what some may call karma.

When we make a thought, no matter what the action is masqueraded in, the energy of that thought will play out and affect your entire spirit body and pave a road and path moving forward.

We are Not Accidents

We are here to learn lessons and our time on this earth is no accident.

Every challenge on this earth is meant to teach us a lesson — There is something in you that only this earth can reveal

So WHY are YOU Here?

The next time you ask yourself why you’re going through something, think of this:

  1. What lesson am I learning from this?
  2. What did/didn’t I do that created this situation
  3. Reframe it as a place of love and not punishment
  4. Understand that your human existence happened for a reason — because there is something only you can bring to light in this world.
You came here for a reason — this is it — Photo by the author via Midjourney

Our creator wants us to grow not only in our love of others, but in our love of ourselves. Understanding that will help us to be keenly aware of the “why” and help us to get back on our path.

Take a moment — breathe.
What might life be trying to show you through this moment, not despite it?

In love, clarity, and contemplation,

Paul — Divine Light Path

https://medium.com/@divinelightpath/your-world-falling-apart-good-youre-finally-becoming-who-you-are-eb01446ff7d8

This is the ego: beautifully fractured, chained to perception, fed by approval, terrified of silence — Image by Author / Midjourney

Is It Me or My Ego? A Guide to Recognition and Release

This is the ego: beautifully fractured, chained to perception, fed by approval, terrified of silence — Image by Author / Midjourney

Ever wonder why your mind spins with doubts just when you’re ready to shine? That’s your ego, spinning dreams into dramas. I learned that the hard way when it nearly cost me my career — until I turned the tables.

The ego — it’s that persistent, party crasher in your mental space, whispering doubts, fears, and endless “what-ifs”.

What if you knew, right away, if doubt, fear, or other unwanted emotions were coming from the ego?

What if you realized that the ego practically always sabotages your success and peace?

I’m going to provide some pretty telling examples that will help you decipher if the ego is the culprit.

A Little Story about the Ego

The ego evolved to protect us and keep us safe in a complex world. But like an overzealous bodyguard, it doesn’t always know when to step back.

Instead, it takes charge, often at the expense of peace, creativity, and authentic living.

Think of the ego as an overprotective friend who tries to help but ends up turning everything into a soap opera.

Its intentions may be good, but its execution? Not so much.

This article invites you to laugh, reflect, and rethink your relationship with this noisy, well-meaning saboteur. By eavesdropping on its antics, we’ll learn to spot its patterns, thank it for its service, and then lovingly tell it to take a seat.

The Anxious Protector: Always On Guard

Dialogue:
Ego:
“Hey, just checking — did you notice Sarah didn’t like your post? That probably means she’s mad at you.”

You: “Or it means she’s busy with her life. Do you ever take a day off?”

Ego: “I could take a day off, but who will remind you of all the things you could fail at?”

You: “Wow, you’re exhausting. Have you ever thought of therapy?”

Ego: “I am your therapy. You’re welcome.”

What’s Happening?
The anxious ego lives in a state of hyper-vigilance, convinced that every silence or delay is a crisis in disguise. While it aims to protect you, it often ends up creating stress where none exists.

As the ego whispers in our ear — Photo by the Author / Midjourney

The Self-Doubt Whisperer: Questioning Everything

Dialogue:
You:
“I think I’m ready to try something new.”

Ego: “Adorable. But, uh, what if you’re terrible at it?”

You: “What if I’m not?”

Ego: “Optimism? Bold. But seriously, let’s prepare for when everyone realizes you’re a fraud.”

You: “Why do you assume I’ll fail?”

Ego: “Because if I assume success and you fail, I’ll look bad. I mean, we’ll feel bad.”

What’s happening?
The ego thrives on protection disguised as pessimism. By lowering your expectations, it tries to shield you from failure, embarrassment, and public judgment. But in doing so, it keeps you small — blocking your authentic energy from fully expressing itself. Because to the ego, your greatness is the ultimate threat: it means surrendering control.

I remember a time I was laid off from a flying job. Rather than see it as failure, I chose to view it as an opportunity. That time pushed me to reinvent myself, learn to fly a Gulfstream G550, and ultimately get rehired by the very company that had let me go.

Practice Tool: The Evidence List
When doubt creeps in:

  1. List three past accomplishments that seemed impossible at first.
  2. Identify one skill you’ve improved recently.
  3. Remind yourself: Growth comes from trying, not perfecting.

The Competitive Ego: Always Comparing

Dialogue:
You:
“I think I’m happy for Julie. She just got a promotion.”

Ego: “Happy? Sure. But isn’t that the same promotion you were passed over for last year?”

You: “So what? Good for her!”

Ego: “Good for her, sure. But doesn’t this mean she’s doing better than you? You should update your résumé. Maybe join LinkedIn again.”

What’s Happening?
The competitive ego views life as a race where someone else’s win equals your loss. It’s fueled by scarcity thinking, making it hard to celebrate others without questioning your own worth.

For years, I thought my value was measured by how I stacked up against others — their accomplishments, their status, their looks. But eventually, I realized: we each have our own path, our own timing, and our own definition of success.

Practice Tool: The Gratitude Shift

  1. Identify how someone else’s success might inspire or benefit you.
  2. List three things you’re grateful for in your own life.
  3. Focus on collaboration over competition.

The Perfectionist Ego: Never Good Enough

Dialogue:

You: “I think I did pretty well on that project.”

Ego: “Pretty well? You missed a comma in the third paragraph. Amateur move.”

You: “It’s just one comma. Nobody cares.”

Ego: “Oh, they care. They’re probably talking about it right now. ‘Can you believe they hired someone who doesn’t even know proper punctuation?’”

What’s Happening?
The perfectionist ego loves setting impossible standards. Its mantra? “You’re only as good as your flaws.” This can lead to overwork, burnout, and fear of starting anything new.

For years, I thought I was just being responsible. But looking back, I see how often my ego’s perfectionism cost me peace, delayed projects, and made me second-guess joy itself.

Practice Tool: The Progress, Not Perfection Rule

  1. Celebrate what you achieved, not what you missed.
  2. Set realistic goals that prioritize progress over flawlessness.
  3. Remember: A comma doesn’t define your worth.

The Paranoid Ego: Preparing for Disaster

Dialogue:
You:
“I think things are going well lately.”

Ego: “That’s suspicious. Quiet times mean something terrible is brewing.”

You: “Or it means life is peaceful.”

Ego: “Impossible. Better start worrying now to soften the blow when it happens.”

What’s Happening?
The paranoid ego assumes that peace is a prelude to chaos. Its favorite hobby is catastrophizing, turning every calm into a potential storm.

I can remember countless times when I felt like I had to worry. As if something bad must be waiting around the corner. I’d mentally scan for what could go wrong instead of allowing myself to enjoy what was going right. Eventually, I realized that the universe creates more favorable outcomes when we align with a calmer, more open mindset — one rooted in trust, not tension.

Practice Tool: The Present Moment Anchor

  1. Focus on three things going well right now.
  2. Write down evidence that supports the idea of things being okay.
  3. Practice gratitude for the calm instead of fearing its end.

The Validation-Seeking Ego: Always Approval-Hungry

Dialogue:

You: “I’m happy with how that turned out.”

Ego: “Sure, but did anyone else say they liked it? Because if not, does it really count?”

You: “I don’t need external validation.”

Ego: “Ha! That’s cute. Validation is the currency of life. Go fish for some compliments before you get too comfortable.”

What’s Happening?
The validation-seeking ego ties your worth to others’ opinions. It’s endlessly searching for likes, compliments, and external approval to feel “enough.”

I eventually learned to start doing things not for applause, but because they felt true. Letting go of outcomes — and trusting that inner voice — led to far better results. No more chasing validation. Not even caring if anyone was watching. Just doing, because it felt aligned… because it needed to be done.

Practice Tool: The Inner Validation Ritual

  1. Before seeking feedback, write down what you like about your work.
  2. Reflect on what feels authentic and true to you.
  3. Practice appreciating your efforts regardless of others’ opinions.
Moving beyond the ego. Photo by the Author / Midjourney

Moving Beyond the Ego: Integration, Not Elimination

The goal isn’t to silence the ego but to work with it compassionately.

Think of your ego as a misguided intern — it’s trying its best but needs better guidance.

Daily Practice for Ego Awareness:

  1. Morning Check-In: Ask, “What story is my ego telling me today?”
  2. Mindful Interruptions: Set reminders to pause and observe your thoughts.
  3. Evening Reflection: Note one instance where you noticed the ego and responded differently.

By building a practice of awareness and curiosity, you’ll develop a healthier relationship with your ego, turning it from a constant critic into a cautious advisor.

When we align with ourself — Photo by the Author / Midjourney

What Contemporary Psychology Says

In the book “Ego is the Enemy” by Ryan Holiday, he argues:

The ego leads more often to failure than success. When our ego is in control, we tend to overestimate our abilities while underestimating challenges, which prevents us from connecting with others effectively and can lead to destructive behaviors that derail careers and lives.

Want to Tame the Ego?

Try remaining quiet in conversations rather than rushing to share your opinions or experiences. This creates space for learning from others.

Reduce the need to announce accomplishments or share thoughts online before they’re fully formed is also very helpful.

Meditation is very powerful in silencing the mind and hence the ego.

Seek nature.

Maintain your student mindset — learning from others throughout your life.

Conclusion: Your Ego, Your Ally

Your ego isn’t your enemy — it’s a part of you, shaped by experiences, fears, and desires. Its intention is to protect you, but its methods often need an upgrade. By recognizing its patterns, embracing its quirks, and responding with mindfulness, you can transform it from a hindrance into a tool for growth.

You don’t have to eliminate the ego— Just understand and redefine your relationship with it.

The next time your ego pipes up with doubts, comparisons, or catastrophes, try thanking it for its input and then asking, “What would love do instead?” Through this balance of humor, reflection, and compassion, you’ll find a deeper connection to your higher self — and the peace and wisdom that come with it.

If any of these voices felt familiar, you’re not alone. Which ego voice sounds the most familiar? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

Please feel free to follow me and sign up for email notifications when I post new articles.

Sending love, compassion, and patience in world that’s still learning to heal.

— Paul

https://medium.com/illumination/is-it-me-or-my-ego-a-guide-to-recognition-and-release-f4ecd57572f2

I tried to fix myself with a thousand books. Turns out, I just needed a pen. Photo by the Author / Midjourney

Why Most Self-Help Advice Often Fails — And What Actually Works to Change Your Life

I tried to fix myself with a thousand books. Turns out, I just needed a pen. Photo by the Author / Midjourney

You’ve tried the books. The routines. The advice.

And maybe some of it helped — briefly. But lasting change? Still out of reach.

What if the reason self-help doesn’t stick isn’t that it’s too hard… but that it’s too fast?

What if we miss the answer because it’s so simple, our ego refuses to believe it could work?

Why do we get a dopamine rush when we read something and think:

THIS Is the answer to all my problems

And it is — until it isn’t. Which, let’s be honest, is about 99% of the time.

Sure, you may glean one valuable thing from a book or article, if you’re lucky, but does it stick? Does it STAY with you and become part of your behavior?

In a previous article, I Tried to Outrun Peace and then Life Grounded Me, I discussed the idea that instead of facing discomfort or enjoying the moment, we are constantly looking for novelty and changing our environment in an effort to get that temporary pleasure, the dopamine rush.

How do we make something stick? Tony Robbins Stated

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

While this quote and mindset makes sense, how often do we go back and examine the pain and pleasure of a situation?

Do we think retrospectively?

Do we take the time?

Do we live in the present?

How to Really Make Things Stick

Over the past year, I had to find two things — yes two things that would jumpstart my desire to change many things in my life. Here they are:

Stop Thinking Speed and Efficiency is Always Your Friend

What? How dare I say that!? You mean typing 120 wpm on the keyboard and finishing my to-do list in world-record pace is not helping me? Maybe — but maybe not

I type fast. VERY fast. But while it allows me to put words on the page, it doesn’t necessarily allow me to absorb what I’m thinking. It leaves a void in contemplation and absorption.

So, what is the solution? I have several notebooks and I hand write, very slowly, my to-do lists.

Handwriting, slowly, also allows other things to come to your mind as you take more time to be present rather than racing to the next word. Your brain spends more time making connections in the present words rather than racing to words of tomorrow.

Keep a List of Important Ideas about Yourself and Your Journey for Daily Invocation

This has changed my life. I really mean that. Every morning and evening I have hand-written pages — an intimate list of things about myself that I like, things I want to change — and how to change them.

I remind myself of truths that need to be repeated — daily. I could swear that every day I read the list, I look at it differently.

This slow and steady rhythm is the kind of change your body, mind, and nervous system can truly absorb. This is how real change occurs

I’m going to share some things that I read from my daily list — items I hold close to me and I’m not ashamed to reveal

  1. When fear magnifies risk, it is not forecasting — it is remembering. I stand anyway!
  2. Mistakes do not threaten my existence. They are the tremors of an old prison collapsing
  3. Slow, steady, and deliberate yields far better results.

You’re Often One Thought or Action Away From Greatness Without Even Realizing it.

I can guarantee and promise you that you have been so much closer to greatness — the kind that really allows you to be on your path — than you can possibly fathom. The difference between alignment and veering off course can be so subtle.

And making subtle changes can be the impetus for significant change and alignment.

It can be a single action or inaction.

It’s so easy to sabotage ourselves or miss something potentially great.

Why slowing down, writing things down, and reading them two times a day works?

Your higher self speaks to you. At its own pace.

Over time, when you start writing things in a notebook, you’ll start seeing patterns. Handwriting has an energy that typing does not. It’s simply a different form of transferring your thoughts to a medium.

Give it a shot.

Order a notebook.

Order a pen you like (the Sharpie S-Gel is by far my favorite).

Real change isn’t loud or instant — it’s quiet, handwritten, and steady. Start with a pen. End with a life transformed.

With love, compassion, and the light that guides us all –

— Paul

https://medium.com/illumination/why-self-help-advice-often-fails-and-what-actually-works-to-change-your-life-0664c79c83a8

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