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The Endless Chase for Relief
The faster you run from discomfort, the quicker it tends to catch us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sped through something in my life trying to escape the discomfort I was feeling, always thinking I could find peace and solace in the next moment … trying to outrun those uncomfortable feelings.
I thought that by changing something, doing a new task, meeting a new person, going to a new place, the pain would go away and I’d feel at peace. I’ll admit, for a brief moment, while the dopamine penetrated the brain and the novelty was still fresh, it worked …
Until it didn’t.
And it never lasted.
Why We Never Catch Our Own Tails
This is a loop so many of us get caught in. Not only are we chasing our tails, but we’re twisting ourselves into exhaustion, possibly even burning out our nervous systems in the process. The real reason this happens? We don’t give ourselves the time or space to fully experience the now. So instead, we keep searching for future “nows,” hoping one of them will finally feel different.
Speed Isn’t the Answer — Stillness Is
But here’s the irony — going faster doesn’t make anything better. In fact, slowing down, dramatically slowing down, is what actually gives you access to something deeper.
The silence and the moments of stillness — these are where your authentic self speaks to you. When you take your foot off the accelerator, you start seeing more things along the way and you get to discover a landscape you had no idea was there.
Having flown as a medevac helicopter pilot for nearly ten years, while on final approach to a highway or some non-airport environment, it was only in going slow, while deliberately and methodically descending into the landing zone, that we could fully absorb our surroundings, and safely put the helicopter onto the ground.
Think about traveling down a residential road at 120 miles per hour versus a gentle walk around the block. You’re surely not going to catch your neighbor playing catch with his five year old son — and the boy’s priceless look when he catches the ball! Your mind can only process so much information at once, so if you’re always focused on the next thing, and your afterburners are on, everything — just — looks — like — a — blurrrrr.
The Illusion of Progress
Flying jets across the world, I’ve seen more sunrises from 45,000 feet than I can count. I’ve left behind countries, relationships, and entire lives at a moment’s notice. But the one thing I could never escape? Myself.
I remember a time in my life constantly shifting between projects, relationships, even cities. Each new beginning felt like a rush. I thought that this time, things would be different. But I couldn’t escape the same familiar energy, the same discomfort I was desperately trying to outrun.
It wasn’t until I forced myself to slow down and even stop — literally and figuratively — that I realized I had been running from myself the whole time.
What If Discomfort Isn’t the Enemy?
And this isn’t just a personal problem. This is cultural programming. We’re taught that movement equals progress. That stillness is wasted time. That discomfort is something to fix, not something to listen to.
But what if the discomfort isn’t the enemy? What if, instead of trying to push past it, we let it tell us what it needs to say?
The Breakthrough: Stopping to Listen
The irony of chasing your tail is that you never catch it — because it’s attached to you.
And just like that tail, the discomfort moves with you, because it’s coming from within. No matter where you go, no matter what new thing you throw yourself into, it stays right there.
So, instead of trying to escape, what if you just paused?
Next time you feel that urge to move on to something new, whether it’s checking your phone, starting a new project, or making drastic life changes, simply stop! Take three long deep breaths and ask yourself:
What feeling inside of me is making me feel uneasy or uncomfortable?
Just name it. No fixing, no analyzing — just notice it.
You may be surprised at what happens when you stop reacting and simply witness it. Will the discomfort completely fade away? Probably not — but it will likely lose some of its grip on you and eventually fade like a distant memory.
Pausing and and witnessing your emotions creates space between stimulus and response. This practice allows us to focus with intention as opposed to just reacting. It’s this level of awareness that we can discover something profound about our capacity to focus.
The Power of Focus
As a nature photographer, I have always admired the Bald Eagle. The irony is in order to get a pristine photo of the eagle, you have to mimic its behavior — and this is sitting patiently, in peace, until the perfect moment arises. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t chase blindly. It waits, with discipline and determination. Then, with laser precision, it dives, with unwavering confidence, its talons skimming the water, and more times than not, it comes up with its prize. Intentional focus means holding steady until the perfect instant to act — and when it comes, the effort feels seamless.
The Hidden Power of Deliberate Pace
What I’ve discovered in my own journey is that slowing down doesn’t actually slow your progress — it transforms it. When you move deliberately and with intention, you begin to notice the spaces between things. Your higher self starts receiving information and putting pieces together that you might have otherwise ignored.
In those magical pauses, whether through meditation, walking, or just vegging, you allow your mind to start forging connections that were not apparent to you before. Imagine staring at the night sky and seeing amazing constellations as opposed to just individual specs of light. The stars were always there; you just couldn’t see the pattern until you slowed down and gave your mind the time it needed.
For quite a few years now, I have embraced a meditation practice that has given me more answers and a reprieve from the constant motion my mind had been so engulfed in. I remember having a very challenging technical problem with a company I was working with. After the meditation was over, the solution became crystal clear. The answer emerged from the stillness and from what many people call “the higher self”.
That pause — that sacred gap between thoughts — is where true insight lives. When you finally stop the endless chase, you may suddenly see your entire situation differently. Not because the situation has changed, but because you’ve changed how you’re looking at it.
The Finish Line Is Just an Illusion
So step out of the chase. Allow yourself to be rather than in constant motion.
Experience the “now” fully, rather than grasping at future “nows” that don’t exist yet. If you’re able to truly integrate this one shift, it can completely change the way you experience reality.
Because here’s the truth:
The present moment is all there ever is and it’s so much richer than you may imagine.
The finish line you’re racing toward? It will keep getting further away.
The peace you seek always feels just out of reach. But what if it was never lost — just overlooked? This practice will show you that peace has been here all along, in the stillness, in the space between your thoughts, in every breath you take.
Stop Running. Start Being.
Your tail will still be there. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll realize it was never the thing you needed to catch in the first place.
So, what about you? Ever found yourself racing from a feeling you couldn’t outrun — only to realize it’s part of you? I’d love to hear your story! Drop a comment below to keep the conversation going. Follow me for more on unraveling behavior, decoding the mind, and living authentically in a world that never slows down.
